I just want to lay my head on the pillow and sleep the day, the week, the month away.
Thunder bellows in the distance and somewhere in my heart, a fear that does not make sense cripples me. It is only thunder. What is there to be scared of?
I just want to ride a boat and explore that cave eight hours from here. Live in that moment of darkness and dampness, of hearing the water gurgle and see the occasional bat or two or maybe more.
Somewhere, someone is always looking for a thing or a person to fill that gaping void. Sometimes, I wish I was that person. I wish I was looking for someone. Then I didn’t have to feel so strange about wanting to just be on my own. Then friends and family alike won’t impose their standards on me. Then they wouldn’t make me feel like such a terrible person.
I just want to finish that story hiding in my closet.
Or maybe take a day or two off from work and spend time alone in the outskirts of town.
Who knows what I’ll find there? Who knows what will jump out at me, not with a “Boo!” and never with a scary cackle. But perhaps some random stranger with the kind eyes and even kinder smile. He/She will offer me a pitcher of lemonade garnished with mint leaves. And no, it won’t be laced with poison. The world isn’t as bad as I’d like to think. There are good people to meet. I just need to stop running away.