Perhaps I was at the wrong place at the right time of my life. Perhaps I’m with the wrong type of crowd. This does not mean they are bad or wrong people. Neither does it mean that I am living a wreck. Simply put, maybe I just need to step back and not simply go with the flow. To give my inner voice the chance to speak up, which I now admit to muffling the past few years. Yes, years. Has it been that long? It has. That’s a scary thing.
I have shaped myself according to how I thought I see fit. But now I know: I have let myself get lost, wandering and in awe of what is new and what is popular. I barely cared whether it worked for me. What mattered then is that I loved the thrill of new things, of shiny toys and novelties. Sadly, I traded my craft of writing for things that I am really not cut out for. I know that now.
And that is going to change. Starting today.