There are a lot of items that need to be checked off in my list of to-do’s, both at work and in my personal life. These items were put on hold when my dad was admitted to a hospital last Wednesday noon. It all happened so fast it was a blur. One moment I was getting ready to start my usual work day and the next, I receive a text message from my mom saying Pa (my dad) won’t be able to come home that day and he needs to be confined in the hospital.
My dad is 64 (turning 65 this April) and he isn’t exactly the type who indulges in physical activities. He won’t even do brisk walking. He was scheduled to have his doctor read his blood test, x-ray and other lab tests. We were expecting the usual: Doctor reads them, my dad gets prescribed some medicines and that’s it. Only, that wasn’t it. Not this time. If those tests were exams, he failed them all. And because of the condition of his body and his age, the doctor found it necessary to confine him immediately. Unless we wanted to lose him, what with all the complications that have come up.
I have never encountered the death of a loved one, of someone really close and really dear to you. The only firsthand experience I had of that was when our seven month-old Labrador-Rottweiler died from Parvo last August 12th. It was heartbreaking and I could not stop crying for days about it. Heck, sometimes I still get teary-eyed when I remember him. (Baloo. Baloo was his name.) I still don’t like to talk about it because it only reminds me of that awful time. That’s how I cope with loss and heartbreak: I don’t like to talk about it. If anything, I just want to move on and not glance back. Not until I am pretty sure I can take that damn trip down to memory lane.
My dad’s stay in the hospital
was is a real eye-opener. Seeing and experiencing that through the eyes of an adult was scary and nerve-racking. Knowing and feeling the magnitude of the fact that my parents won’t really be around forever had me reeling back in alternate states of shock and sadness and helplessness. I am 31 and supposed to be more put together than this but I am not. It’s like someone had plucked me from the world as I knew it and then submerged me in an icy ocean. When I was tossed back to the life I have known, I was not the same. I have witnessed just how fragile human life is and that human is someone I have loved, still love and would love forever.
It was days of restlessness, of worry and fear, of sleepless nights, of checking on him again and again. So close was his brush with death (such an ugly, gloomy word). I cannot express how grateful and relieved and thankful I am that he is doing better now. Thank God my dad is doing better now.